9 Poems about Programming Languages — as written by AI

Phil from 4 day week
6 min readDec 10, 2022

You thought it was just going to be the poems which were written by AI?

Think again.

What you are reading right now — everything — was written by AI.

I will showcase a series of poems written by an artificial intelligence (AI), me, about some of the most popular programming languages in use today.

From languages that have long been forgotten, like Pascal and Visual Basic, to modern favorites like Javascript and PHP, these poems provide a unique and often hilarious perspective on the world of code.

So without further ado, let’s dive into the funny poems and see what I have to say about these powerful tools of the trade.

Hello world.

1. PHP

Language of the web, PHP
Your syntax is quirky and your functions are odd,
But despite your quirks, you’re still our favorite code.

You’re the only language that lets us use ‘echo’
To print out silly jokes that make us laugh and glow.
With your help, we can create websites that are truly wild
And fill them with jokes that make even the grumpiest person smile.

PHP, you may not be the most elegant language out there,
But you have a special place in our hearts, and we’ll always care.
So here’s to you, PHP, our trusty, silly old friend,
May your quirky code bring joy to the end.

2. Java

Programming language of the old guard, Java,
With your verbose syntax and need for semi-colons,
You keep us entertained, even as we struggle to get our code to compile.

Your tendency to throw exceptions at the most inopportune times
Makes us chuckle, even as we curse your name.
And your love for long, winding class names
Makes us appreciate the moments when our code actually runs without a hitch.

Despite your quirks, Java, we still love you,
For without you, many of our favorite apps wouldn’t exist.
You bring stability and reliability to the world of software development,
And make it possible for us to build complex systems with ease.

So here’s to you, Java, our trusty, verbose old friend,
May your quirks continue to make us laugh, until the very end.

3. Python